Parts Work + High-Control Groups

Therapy modalities like Internal Family Systems address the different “parts” of us that play different roles. Having these parts is a normal part of being human and the goal is to is to integrate them into how we function as whole person. To do this, we need to taking the time to identify and understand them. All of our parts deserve to have space to be heard, which means that none of them are allowed to silence another part or hijack our decision-making.

Parts work usually starts with identifying the three main types of parts. In IFS therapy, the three types are called Managers, Firefighters, and Exiles but I use the labels of Strategizing, Rescuing, and Repressed parts.

STRATEGIZING PARTS (Managers)

These parts proactively try to prevent us from experiencing pain or discomfort. They tend to take on the roles that protected us from punishment or earned us approval early in life. Strategizing parts can easily get into habits of over-functioning or dominating our behavior. Survivors of high control groups often have strategizing parts that are highly self-critical, perfectionistic, and good at performing. Our goal is to keep our managers balanced with the other parts.

RESCUING PARTS (Firefighters)

These parts react to save us from pain. They jump into action to "put out the fire" of emotional distress by any means necessary, often focusing on making us feel numb until the pain or distress subsides. For people with history in high-control groups, rescuing parts often try to help us avoid feelings by bypassing, distracting from, or externalizing our problems. Our goal is remind our rescuing parts that pain doesn't always need to be shut down - especially if it creates more problems long term.

REPRESSED PARTS (Exiles)

These parts represent the non-conforming parts of ourself that have been judged, shamed, or punished in the past. They often get unfairly blamed for creating problems and our strategizing and rescuing parts might try to hide or silence them in an effort to protect us. We may feel like these parts are embarrassing, inconvenient, or stupid, especially if they represent things that were taboo in a high-control setting. Repressed parts desperately in need of attention and acceptance, however, so our goal is to listen to them and let them express themselves.

Examples of Strategizing Parts in High-Control Groups