The term “spiritual bypassing”, coined by John Welwood in the 1980s, refers to a pattern of sidestepping emotionally complex issues with spiritual words and phrases. These sayings are usually intended to offer comfort or perspective when life is difficult. Unfortunately, oversimplified spiritual catch-phrases can inadvertently push us to detach from difficult things, lean into magical thinking, and suppress valid emotions that we need to process.
 
Spiritual bypassing can often look like toxic positivity or an insensitive response to someone else's pain. When we habitually use it to cope with difficulties in our lives, we get better and better at denying reality and suppressing inner tension by relying on spiritual explanations and solutions. 

THE MESSAGES OF SPIRITUAL BYPASSING
Spiritual bypassing happens in religious and non-religious systems all over the world, and it's not specific to any faith or ideology. The basic messages of spiritual bypassing, however, stay roughly the same once you substitute out group-specific words and phrases. These are some of the common messages of spiritual bypassing:

• There's always a divine/cosmic plan.

• There's always a spiritual lesson to be learned.

• When suffering happens, there's a spiritual purpose to it.

• When positive or negative things happen, there's a spiritual explanation.

• When problems happen, there's a spiritual solution.

• All struggles can be solved through spiritual enlightenment.

• True believers trust in things they don't understand.

• True believers are grateful/peaceful at all times.

• True believers shouldn't feel anxious about the future.

• True believers shouldn't feel angry, sad, or hopeless.

• Faith, devotion, and sacrifice will always be rewarded.

• Suffering/harm is justified if it's for the greater good.

 
EXAMPLES 
Below are some specific phrases (mostly from Christian traditions) that can be used as spiritual bypassing.

• “Everything happens for a reason.”

• “Count your blessings.”

• "God will provide." / "God's in control."

• "That person is in heaven now."

• “You'll never be given more than you can handle.”

• "Don't lean on your own understanding."

• “You'll get your reward in the next life.”

• "God works in mysterious ways."

• "Maybe this is a blessing in disguise."

• “God must be trying to teach you something.”

• “I'll pray for you."

• "We're called to be holy, not happy."

• “Love the sinner, hate the sin.”

• "Forgive and forget."

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How has spiritual bypassing impacted you?