UNDERSTANDING RELIGIOUS TRAUMA
WHAT IS RELIGIOUS TRAUMA?
​Religious trauma comes from adverse experiences in a faith-based community where doctrine, practices, or controlling group dynamics undermined an individual's sense of safety or autonomy. ​This form of trauma is a profound and complex experience that can manifest in a variety of ways. It often impacts the individual emotionally, physically, socially, and spiritually. Religious trauma typically doesn't come from one isolated event, but is often the result of multiple harmful experiences that created and reinforced feelings of fear, shame, and powerlessness.
WHAT ARE THE SYMPTOMS OF RELIGIOUS TRAUMA?
Religious trauma looks different for each person. These are the six common categories of symptoms, though: (1) intense fear and anxiety about spiritual and practical threats, (2) shame and guilt about perceived personal inadequacy, (3) rigid thinking centered around black-and-white beliefs, (4) the suppression of emotions and identity, (5) repeated unhealthy relationship patterns, and (5) complex grief and spiritual struggle. Read more below about specific examples of these symptoms.
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RELIGIOUS TRAUMA AND RELIGIOUS ABUSE?
Religious or spiritual abuse focuses on the exploitation and perpetration of harm by a faith-based group's leaders, practices, or ideology. Religious trauma, on the other hand, describes the internal impacts and symptoms that an individual has to deal with in the wake of harmful religious experiences.
WHAT QUALIFIES AS A HIGH-CONTROL GROUP/CULT?
The teachings, practices, and authority structures of high-control groups normalize a culture of conformity, submission, and total reliance on the group. Leaders of these groups may claim or even believe that their practices are in the best interest of their members, but they often focus on suppressing any thoughts or behaviors that would threaten their control. If you're not sure whether you've been in a high-control religious group or cult, take the High Control Group Inventory.
ARE ALL RELIGIOUS GROUPS HARMFUL?
The short answer is no. Lots of people have positive, non-traumatic experiences in faith communities. Recognizing and addressing the fact that people can experience religious trauma isn't an indictment against all religious beliefs. When someone's harmed in a religious setting, it doesn't necessarily mean that the group is toxic. It is, however, cause for concern, curiosity, accountability, and efforts to prevent future harm.
HOW DO I KNOW IF I HAVE RELIGIOUS/SPIRITUAL TRAUMA?
You can use tools like the Religious Trauma Inventory to reflect on your own experiences with the symptoms listed above. Educating yourself on the common signs and symptoms of Complex PTSD is also a great place to start. Additionally, there's an increasing number of useful resources out there that can offer you clarity and validation as you explore this topic.
HOW DOES SOMEONE RECOVER FROM RELIGIOUS TRAUMA?
Whether you're comfortable with the label of religious trauma or not, recognizing and validating the way your religious experiences have impacted you is the first step. It's crucial to practice curiosity and non-judgment towards yourself as you unpack and deconstruct the beliefs, practices, and controlling group dynamics that have hurt you. Working with a therapist who's trained in this area can be a very valuable source of support. Check out our Religious Trauma Therapist Directory.
THE IMPACTS OF RELIGIOUS TRAUMA
Every person's experience of religious trauma is unique, but there are six main categories of symptoms that tend to show up among survivors: Fear + Anxiety, Shame (Disempowerment), Rigid Thinking, Self-Suppression, Relationship Difficulties, and Grief + Spiritual Struggles.
Symptoms of Religious Trauma:
Fear + Anxiety
​Religious practices and experiences can sometimes induce intense fear and anxiety. Often, these fears are connected with explicit or implicit teachings about spiritual dangers, worldly dangers, eternal consequences, divine control, punishment from God, or discipline from the group and its leaders. Many religious trauma survivors deal with long term struggles such as generalized anxiety, complex-PTSD, phobias, panic attacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, or obsessive-compulsive disorders. For many, these fears and anxieties make it hard to relax or feel safe, even when they're not in a religious setting. Here are some common forms of fear and anxiety.
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Spiritual Hypervigilance: Fear, paranoia, and preoccupation with spiritual threats and dangers such as sin, temptation, persecution, spiritual warfare, demon possession, secular influences, etc.
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Example: Constantly looking for signs that you're being spiritually attacked.​
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Afterlife Anxiety: Intense fear of going to hell, dread of the end times, obsessions about ensuring your salvation, feeling responsible for others' salvation, fearing eternal separation from loved ones, etc.
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Example: Repeatedly worrying that others will go to hell because you didn't witness to them.
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Dread of Divine Control: Feeling trapped by God's will or preordained plans for your life, fearing that God will punish you or others for spiritual failures, fearing that you'll be "called" to do things you don't want to do, etc.
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Example: Worrying that God will force you to become a missionary.
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Scrupulosity (OCD): Obsessive rule-following, intrusive fears of being punished or blamed, trying to be perfect, constantly monitoring your behavior, obsessing over determining right from wrong, compulsively confessing mistakes, etc.
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Example: Assuming that you'll be accused of cheating even though you've never cheated. ​
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​Superstitions: Compulsively repeating religious rituals or practices in hopes that you'll be protected from spiritual harm (praying, confessing, scripture reading, witnessing, etc.)
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Example: Fearing that something bad will happen if you don't read scripture every day.​
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Spiritual Bypassing: Repeating religious words or phrases to downplay your anxiety instead of dealing with it (learn more about spiritual bypassing.)
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Example: Repeatedly chanting a Bible verse about laying your anxieties at God's feet. ​
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Social Anxiety: Fearing judgment, criticism, or rejection by people around you, assuming others are monitoring your behavior, worrying that you'll be shamed or humiliated publicly.
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Example: Overthinking everything you said during a church gathering.
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Symptoms of Religious Trauma:
Shame (Disempowerment)
Many religious trauma survivors experience a deep sense of shame about who they are. This disempowering core belief often originates from religious doctrines that emphasize an evil or sinful nature. When a religious group imposes unrealistic expectations, their members internalize their failure as a sign that they are fundamentally inadequate, deserving of punishment, and in need of rescuing. Here are some examples of shame and disempowerment.
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Self-Blame: Assuming that you are responsible for things totally out of your control, apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong, punishing yourself preemptively for not living up to external standards.
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Example: Automatically assuming that when things go wrong, it must have been your fault. ​
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Self-Distrust: Believing you can't trust your own instincts and desires, always relying on others for guidance, assuming that your natural inclinations are immoral and wrong.
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Example: Assuming that your gut feeling is a form of temptation that you should ignore.​
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Self-Criticism: Habitually insulting, threatening or calling yourself names, believing that you need to abuse yourself in order to keep yourself on the right path.
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Example: Calling yourself "prideful" and "selfish" for not wanting to volunteer.
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Self-Neglect: Not addressing your physical/mental health needs, undervaluing your own comfort, believing God wants you to forgo happiness, pleasure, or freedom.
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Example: Not taking a day off because you view self-care as a sign of selfishness.
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Perfectionism: Setting unrealistic expectations for yourself, trying to make up for your perceived inadequacy by constantly achieving, pushing yourself too hard, not tolerating mistakes or imperfections, etc.
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Example: Feeling like a failure when you don't have the highest grade in the class.​
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Overworking: Compulsively serving and volunteering, placing the mission and needs of others above your own, feeling obligated to help or rescue others, feeling like you're never doing "enough", worrying that if you relax you'll let people down.
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Example: Tirelessly serving at church even when your health is being negatively impacted. ​
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Learned Helplessness: Feeling trapped in predetermined circumstances without power to control the trajectory of your life, believing you're too broken to succeed, feeling a premature sense of defeat and cynicism about your future.
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Example: Not applying for a new job because you're waiting for God to reveal his will for your life. ​
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Symptoms of Religious Trauma:
Rigid Thinking
It's common for religious trauma survivors to struggle with rigid thinking and suppress any thoughts or behaviors that don't fit into their restrictive worldview. Often, these habits emerge after long term indoctrination in a black-and-white belief system that demanded conformity and rejected diversity. Habits of black-and-white thinking can be hard to unlearn even among people who no longer adhere to their previous belief system. These are some examples of what rigid thinking can look like.
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Stunted Curiosity: Discomfort with asking open questions, exploring possibilities, acknowledging doubts, challenging beliefs, or changing your mind; falling for confirmation bias.
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Example: Automatically dismissing another person's perspective without truly considering it. ​
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​Moralizing: Viewing the world in black-and-white moral categories, making moral judgments about subjective ideas, behaviors, or emotions; frequently using terms like "good", "bad", "right", and "wrong".
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Example: Viewing loyalty as always right, regardless of the circumstances. ​
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​​Absolutism: Thinking in all-or-nothing extremes; feeling obligated to determine the absolute truth; dismissing nuances.
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Example: Feeling guilty for not being absolutely certain about your beliefs.
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​​​Reliance on Rules and Authority: Intense devotion to following rules and being loyal; difficulty making decisions without instructions and/or permission from authority figures.
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Example: Feeling intense anxiety when a supervisor isn't available to give you detailed instructions. ​
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Othering: Struggling to have empathy or respect for people with different values, beliefs, or lifestyles; viewing other groups or non-believers through an "us vs. them" lens.
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Example: Believing that all gay people are intent on recruiting others to be gay.​
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Symptoms of Religious Trauma:
Self-Suppression
Religious trauma survivors who have experienced suppression from a high-control group often begin to perpetuate that suppression internally. Over time, they learn to reenact the control and abuse that they've experienced. These patterns are often linked to belief systems that emphasize purity, conformity, and total unity among believers. These are some of the implications. ​​​
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Low Personal Autonomy: Feeling undeserving of independence, privacy, or respect from other people; feeling incapable of making decisions on your own; feeling like you need permission before doing things; ignoring your own discomfort.
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Example: Crowd-sourcing basic decisions like which coffee shop to go to. ​
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Emotional Suppression: Hiding, shutting down, or invalidating your emotions; judging your emotions as "wrong"; feeling guilty or ashamed for being angry, hurt, or sad. (Long term: depression and emotional numbness.)
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Example: Chastising yourself for feeling hurt by someone's insensitive comment.​
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Identity Confusion: Not knowing who you are, what you like, or what you want; viewing parts of your identity as bad or deviant; trying to hide or change your identity or personality; feeling like you're always playing a part; constantly trying to live up to other people's goals for you.
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Example: Not realizing that you're an introvert because you've always assumed that being outgoing is the right way to be.​
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Sexual Dysfunction: Having extreme shame and anxiety about normal sexual expression; frequently worrying about sexual purity; viewing sex or masturbation as deviant or disgusting; experiencing pain during sex; not enjoying sex; denying or hiding your sexual attractions.
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Example: Feeling extreme embarrassment about telling your partner what you want sexually. ​
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​Somatic Symptoms: Suppressed feelings and needs can eventually show up as unexplained chronic physical pain or illness
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Example: Dealing with repeated flares of fibromyalgia or migraines during stressful seasons.
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Dissociation: Detaching mentally or emotionally from reality; feeling disconnected from your bodily sensations.
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Example: Realizing you haven't eaten all day because you were ignoring your body's needs. ​
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Symptoms of Religious Trauma:
Relationship Difficulties
It's common for religious trauma survivors to come from groups that normalized unhealthy relationship dynamics that benefit the group but not the individual. When these interpersonal dynamics seem normal, many survivors experience repeated issues in their relationships even after leaving the group. These patterns can reappear in other kinds of relationships including partners, family, friends, coworkers, etc. Some of the impacts of this include the following.
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Codependency: Feeling obligated to always help and serve others; enabling others by doing things for them they're capable of; feeling guilty for saying no; feeling resentful when others don't reciprocate.
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Example: Feeling rejected and useless when a loved one says they don't need your help.
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Enmeshment: Difficulty separating your own thoughts, feelings, and needs from others'; expecting everything (including possessions) to be shared in relationships.
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Example: Feeling distraught when a loved one says they disagree with you.
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Mandatory Forgiveness/Reconciliation: Feeling obligated to dismiss your feelings and forgive people who hurt you; avoiding conflict at all costs to maintain unity.
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Example: Reconciling with someone who hasn't expressed remorse for hurting you.
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Oversharing: Sharing overly personal/vulnerable information before trust has been established; using trauma dumping as a means of bonding.
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Example: Compulsively confessing your insecurities or mistakes to friends.
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Confrontation: Feeling obligated to speak hard truths or give unsolicited advice to others; believing it's an act of love to insert yourself into others' private lives.
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Example: Believing it loving to call out your friend's sinful lifestyle.
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Trauma Bonding: Feeling obligated to defend, be loyal to, or excuse harmful behavior from others because of your shared history.
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Example: Defending someone who abused you because you don't want them to look bad.
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Social Anxiety: Feeling on edge in social situations; monitoring for signs that you're being judged or misunderstood; feeling like you need to perform or lead in social settings.
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Example: Misinterpreting people's questions as a sign that they're judging you.
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Insecure Attachments: Recurring fears of rejection or abandonment by loved ones; pushing away or clinging to people in order to keep them from hurting you.
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Example: Repeatedly assuming your friends are fed up with you and will eventually leave.
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Authority Fawning: Pleasing and seeking approval from perceived authority figures to earn safety and avoid punishment; excessive obedience, helping, complementing, apologizing, etc.
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Example: Repeatedly complimenting a leader to stroke their ego.
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Authority Defiance: Protecting yourself from perceived authority figures by assuming they have bad intentions; refusing to trust or comply with the rules or expectations of those in power.
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Example: Repeatedly getting in trouble at work for ignoring instructions.
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Symptoms of Religious Trauma:
Grief + Spiritual Struggles
In the aftermath of adverse religious experiences, many survivors feel a deep sense of loss and existential grief. Many who are grappling with religious trauma lose relationships, resources, and sometimes even their faith as they try to make sense of their experiences. These are some of the things a survivor might feel.
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Disenfranchised Grief: Feeling as if your pain is invalid or can't be adequately communicated; feeling as if you don't have the "right" to mourn or that you're doing it incorrectly.
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Example: Feeling ashamed that you're sad about losing a group that you chose to leave.
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Crisis of Faith: Feel untethered and confused about your spirituality; not trusting things you once felt certain about; fearing that others will view you as weak or bad for questioning or leaving your faith.
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Example: Continuing to attend church but feeling extreme discomfort about it.
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Regret: Grieving the time you spent in an unhealthy group, feeling as if you've missed out on important developmental experiences.
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Example: Wishing you'd experienced adolescence without purity culture.
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Moral Injury: Witnessing or feeling compelled to do things that went against your core values; feeling confused about who to blame and whether to feel guilty.
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Example: Feeling ashamed of playing a part in the spiritual abuse of someone else.
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